I’ve been wanting to update you guys but was struggling with how to be real and transparent yet not just being completely negative. I have been here for three weeks now and as each day comes and goes I miss my people back home more and more, the struggles seemed to just keep rolling in, it’s a daily fight to not let the lies of the enemy in, yet through all of it the Lord was walking before me and knew that this would bring some much growth, strength, and breakthrough. I just had to step out of my comfort and allow Him to humble me through this season… 

These past few weeks have consisted of living in a tent, eating small portioned food, in constant community, sitting in two hour+ sessions and teachings, and learning to surrender your comforts in order to step into the journey of sharing the Lord’s love across the nations. I was fighting for joy SO hard since I’ve been here but the Lord has been at work and brought a complete 180 to my mindset. A week of going hard core into battle with prayer, I have been constantly reminded that ministry isn’t suppose to be easy and He hasn’t called me to sit in comfort but to step out into the hardships so that I can fight for His fame and bring glory to His kingdom in hopes to gain many new brothers and sisters in Christ along the way. 

Today I woke up feeling so renewed and fulfilled! It’s been the sweetest time here getting to slow down and start each day diving deeper into His word and gaining a greater perspective on the purpose of my life as one of His children. A quote was sent to me (shoutout Isaiah) about how God didn’t remove the Read Sea, He parted it. During worship Wednesday I was praying fervently for the Lord to renew my heart posture towards this season, and the song ‘No Longer Slaves’ came on and in the song it was saying ‘you split the sea so I could walk right through it’… This is where my perspective changed. I realized He isn’t necessarily going to take this season of hardship away but that He is parting a way for me, I just need to walk obediently through. After worship Alli came straight up to me and mentioned that she wanted me to know that, that worship was for me, at this point I’m reading deep into this idea of me walking out this season joyfully. I went to spend some quiet time with the Lord journaling and it began to break my heart that there are people out there who don’t know the love of Jesus and are living in much harder conditions than I am, yet I’m sitting here complaining about having to live in a tent, not getting full every meal, and having to leave my people temporarily. I began to shift my perspective and appreciate having three meals provided, shelter to sleep in, and a community that can walk through this with me. My heart became so ready to take on this journey and walk through whatever is needed to reach those desperate for a savior. I think it becomes so easy to pray ‘Lord break me down and refine me’ but to actually walk that out can be a whole different thing. Anyways I’m done talking, time for me to start walking out my story. Not gonna lie there’s still fear in my eyes but I pray that faith will lead my steps.