June 13, 2021. Currently 11pm. 3 days till boot camp. A night of overwhelmed thoughts and emotions. A night filled with community and church. A night of solitude with the Lord. 

I'm currently sitting downstairs in the kitchen. I came home from church with lots of thoughts and emotions running around in my head. After a day of chaos and trying to prepare for training camp, I realized I forgot to eat today, something that doesn’t normally happen to me. I obviously came downstairs and tried to find some food while keeping everyone else in the house asleep considering it’s almost midnight at this point. All I could find that was quick and easy was some ramen noodles and some water. I had brought my small group’s book down to finish this week's studies, questions. As I was eating and answering the questions, I found myself reflecting on a lot of the questions and not just how they applied personally, but what the Lord was wanting me to take from them individually. So for once today, I finally sat there, put my food down, put my pen down, stopped answering the questions and reading; I sat there, and asked the Lord to reveal what He was trying to teach me in that moment. 

There it was revealed....by yes, eating ramen noodles and water in darkness. The book this week talked about the miracle Jesus did through turning the water into wine. Along with the idea that we have to allow change and how we need to get rid of the old in order to allow Him to bring new into our lives like the wine. So I'm sure you are wondering how the ramen and water play into this, let me share. He used them as a reminder of His steadfast love for me. This week was hard for me, my parents flew back to Costa Rica, I wasn’t working anymore and didn’t have school, leaving me a lot of time alone, preparations for camp and the realization of the emotions that were coming about leaving my friends and family during wr, it all got real and real fast. So tonight the Lord revealed to me a valuable lesson I needed greatly. Even in the not so cute “Instagram aesthetically pleasing” Bible study of eating ramen noodles and drinking water, it doesn’t change Scripture. Even when the things around us are chaotic and messy He is still there for us. Even when you're surrounded by complete darkness He is still a light. Even when the things around you change or people come and go, His love is still steadfast. So even in the darkness of eating ramen at midnight He is still present and is still overflowing my cup with blessings and valuable lessons. 

He chooses to love me. He chooses to come sit at the table with me at midnight to eat some noodles. He CHOOSES this out of love and not obligation. At youth, we talked about the blessings He gives us, I kept questioning myself what His blessings look like to me. I’ve realized tonight that through the daily process of picking up my cross to follow Him, that when I give up the “me” and turn it to the Lord that He overflows me with blessings of love and mercy.

As I walk into this new season, I’m learning that new is okay, rest is good, and in the darkness and solitude of eating noodles at midnight with Jesus is just one of the many ways he overflows me with blessings and cool lessons. Even though tonight didn’t consist of a cute coffee shop Bible study, His presence was steadfast and taught me to find time to rest in His presence allowing myself to accept change with grace, a good attitude, and joy (shout out Bree and MG)